Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Old

The next asshole who tells me that 30 is the new 20 is getting a boot to the head. I didn't have an age complex until these damn kids these days gave me one. You know you have crossed the invisible aging line when, unbidden, a young 20-something starts consoling you about your age by telling you that she knows a 60-year old with a tattoo. I don't know which was worse--that she interrupted our otherwise lovely conversation about comic books and cartoons to console me unbidden on being old or that she thinks 35 and 60 are practically the same thing. 

By the way, you can tell I am practically antique and stuffed with ancient sawdust because I use words like 'unbidden'. Yesterday I used the phrase "to wit". I wouldn't have said shit like that when I was 33. Suddenly I'm 34, almost 35, and I'm all like "blah blah blah to wit, blah blah blah UNBIDDEN!" No wonder these young whippersnappers think I'm all decrepity and old.